Hangovers Last a Week

“I never have a headache.”

“If I have a headache, it goes away as soon as I (eat something) (get moving) (sleep a little longer).

“Tired? Oh, maybe a little, but by afternoon I’m out Frolfing.”

I’m talking here about typical alcohol hangovers, but all attempts to get something for nothing via other drugs also extract usurious interest rates for the “instant-cash advance” on unearned good feelings. 

In my first job as an addiction counselor, I ran an eight-week program for clients, mostly college students, who had picked up a Second-Offense Driving Under the Influence conviction. This was easy to do in a small college town, so most did not meet the then-current “Alcohol Dependence” criteria for a more intense Outpatient Treatment recommendation.

The group members met with me first for an individual session so I could get to know them and to sign a “contract” that included a commitment to abstinence for the length of the program.

The clause was intended to allow them to test their ability to refrain from drinking, but something at least as useful came out of it as well. I am sure that not all of them honored their vow, but all had assured me that they were by no means daily drinkers, typically stating something like, “I only drank on Friday nights, to blow off steam after a stressful week.”

We then met for six weekly group sessions, with one of the topics being, “how is this not drinking going for you? Difficult on Friday night? Bored?” Few found the new regimen all that tough and some even stated surprise at how much more energetic they felt. The real surprise came at the end of the program when we had an individual “exit interview.”

A spontaneous admission that repeatedly emerged was, “my grades have never been better.” It seemed to be more than a time issue, as they still dated or went to movies and such on Friday night, plus they spent an evening a week in group. I began to drill down to see if I could determine the “why?”

I started asking how their week nights compared with their experience the previous semester and that is when the lights began to come on for both of us.

“Last semester I promised myself I would go to the library or study in my room every night and put in the time needed to get the grades I knew I was capable of, but that usually didn’t happen. I’d decide to watch a favorite TV show and wind up watching the next one and the next, or someone would come in my room or I’d drop by theirs and the next thing it was ‘too late to get anything done anyway, I’ll hit it hard tomorrow night,’ and that happened a lot. Even when I was studying, I didn’t feel sharp. Stuff wasn’t sticking, especially later in the week when I’d feel kind of hyper and starting to focus on weekend plans. This semester, I’m already in the library by Sunday night and I stick to my study-hours most of the week.”

It wasn’t only students who reported a difference in their week nights. A thirty-something woman with teenage daughters said, “come to think of it, my daughters never used to come home until it was bedtime. Now they spend some evenings at home or come home before they are required to. I got to looking at that and realize I am a lot easier to get along with, not as grumpy and critical of them. I think I’m in a better mood in general and they like to be around me now.”

A salesman in his forties reported that he always had intentions to get up early and get into the businesses he sold supplies to, before they got busy and didn’t have time to listen to his pitch. “Now, I even buy breakfast for some of them and have their complete attention.”

I thought of my pro football team, the ones that were Super Bowl contenders on paper every year, then wound up leading the league in DUI’s and seeing their hopes fade away. Getting blown-out on the plane flying home Sunday evening was dulling their focus and reaction time in practice, all week long, as well. Blown plays the next Sunday gave them something to drink over after that game too. (North Dallas Forty) I decided that if I were a General Manager, I’d require the entire team to commit to a no-drinking policy for the entire season and watch the team step it up a notch, instead of down, for that reason alone.

When you hammer your brain and body on Friday, the effects aren’t gone a day later. The Medical Aspects of Alcohol video, widely shown in treatment programs, used an example to help you see that. “You hit your thumb with a hammer and throw away the hammer. Your thumb-hammer level is now zero, but the pain lingers on.” The human brain is the most complex structure in the known universe. Just like a dragster is more complex than a basic automobile and needs to be treated more delicately, the more complex anything is, the less resistant to abuse it tends to be.

Getting “hammered” on Friday night is similar. Your Blood Alcohol Level might be zero by noon, but the delicate mechanism of your brain is swinging wildly, like a child’s mobile with a piece removed, trying to reestablish equilibrium. Signals of distress are heading towards your already confused brain, an externally induced depression settling in, magnifying any natural tendency you have in that direction.

The gut microbiome you flooded with poison is trying to repopulate itself and get back to helping you extract the nutrients from your food that your system has come to depend on.

Your internal EPA, also known as your liver, is trying to clean up the toxic spill, so it can get back to its many natural functions.

By the time all that settles down days later, it is time to “blow off some steam.” Steam that might be put to better use exercising for the endorphin rush that is a byproduct of that useful behavior.