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About this blog : I intend to make recovery fun with lists and contests that lead to a point that supports recovery. Alas, until my mem...

Monday, December 26, 2016

It’s Been Hard Day’s Night…

It’s Been Hard Day’s Night (Beatles)…information and demands pouring in, doot-doot-doot, flooding my always already bubbling, bubbling, bubbling whirling-dervish brain, spattering all over my synapses, Primal Screaming down my axons, threatening to erupt like a super volcano of hormones, knocking down logical thoughts like tenpins, holding the lid on to hold on to my job, hitting the door to my little nest, seeking relief, meeting, “Do you know what the kids did today!”  “No, but please! Give me a minute to decompress! A minute? No? Gawd, why me? Why me?”
Slick to the rescue: “Here, have some of this. Sweet relief! Comfortably Numb (Floyd, P) in seconds!”
Does that sound good or what? Better take a look at the “Or what…”
Fast forward. Comfortable, yes. Alive? No. Baby’s first steps! “That’s nice. I guess…” Your mother’s on the phone! “Too stoned. Can’t talk to anyone right now…”
And…You think today was bad. Try tomorrow with a come down…but…what to do with these feelings? I’m too stressed to think right now!
I do have a list of “If this, then that…”, so I don’t have to get creative when I’m in this Condition Red state. I wrote it out when I created my program, in a stress-free environment…
“Where is  that program? Why haven’t I been working it? Do I enjoy being battered by my own brain?”
A reminder to encourage me to work that program: Numb means numb. Numb to the real pleasures in life. I can’t selectively numb out the painful emotions. I have to go all-in-on-numb, enjoying the absence of all sensation for a brief moment. A losing strategy in another way as well. The agitation begins to set in again, slowly, mildly at first, but building, building, building, while the relief is falling, falling, falling. The only “cure” is to cycle through more of the same mind/body/emotion numbing toxins that numbed me out to the joys of life as well as the pains.
And…a reminder to work that program all the time. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of weed  cure.
Some types of neurons have no axon and transmit signals from their dendrites. No neuron ever has more than one axon; … Most axons branch, in some cases very profusely.

Axons make contact with other cells—usually other neurons but sometimes muscle or gland cells—at junctions called synapses. At a synapse, the membrane of the axon closely adjoins the membrane of the target cell, and special molecular structures serve to transmit electrical or electrochemical signals across the gap. Some synaptic junctions appear partway along an axon as it extends—these are called en passant ("in passing") synapses. Other synapses appear as terminals at the ends of axonal branches. A single axon, with all its branches taken together, can innervate multiple parts of the brain and generate thousands of synaptic terminals. Me: Multiplying the number of possible connections beyond comprehension. The human brain is the most complex structure/system in the known universe. 

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